


The hatred within

by LifeWithoutHope



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Original Fiction, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:02:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25507138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LifeWithoutHope/pseuds/LifeWithoutHope
Summary: Have you ever thought that you will fall in love with a person just from their voice?
Kudos: 1





	The hatred within

Have you ever thought that you will fall in love with a person just from their voice?

Okay, I know it sounds stupid and ridiculous at the same time, but, I think it can happen.

When you play a video game, would you like to listen to the language you know or a language you know very little? To be honest, English is not my native mother tongue and I have been studied for years. I also learned Japanese but because of some reason, I could not keep studying it. However, it doesn’t stop me from liking it. I think it is a beautiful language, just like every language existing in this world.

So, what does it relate to? Actually, it does. Like I said, most of the time, people prefer to read and listen to the language they know. However, nowadays, we can listen to other languages as long as there is a subtitle of the language we know. Okay, I know you will feel pretty weird but let us say my weeb inner was raised. The fact is, I play a video game in which I listen to Japanese voices and read English subtitles.

If you do not know, the game was very controversial back to that time. Some people said it was completed purposefully, some said it was rushed and unfinished. Whatever it is, I think it was still a pretty good game. And it also marked the first time I heard that special voice.

I will not say I am an expert, but I have heard a lot of different voices from talented actors, both English and Japanese. However, I cannot lie that that female voice was very special, which I was so attached. After finishing the game, I did a little research on google, and I was so surprised about that voice actress.

She is a Japanese voice actress, with black hair and a beautiful face. And she is not a normal voice actress, but a veteran one. She is known for her skill of dubbing fictional characters, from anime to video games. Not only that, but she is also a singer as well. The more I researched, the more I admired her. I think it is safe to say that I am a fan of her.

That said, she is a singer as well. And oh my god, she is very special. I have never felt attached to a singer like her before. I have heard many songs of hers and watched some of her music videos as well. But there is only one music video that I think I will never forget.

In the movie, she wore a full white dress, standing on a stage and dancing. I might be exaggerating but she was like a goddess. And you will not believe that when she was recording that song, she was in her 30s, way too older than her looks. I thought she was in her 20s or so. Being with her was another girl who wore the same clothes as her and she was playing harp. But she was not the main character. Back to our singer, I was completely attached to her voice. It was so strong, yet so emotional. And I love the song as well. It was about deep love. I cannot remember how many times I have listened to it. However, although she has sung many songs, I haven’t found another song that could surpass that song. Maybe it is just me but recently, there are not many songs that I can like. Probably they don’t suit me, though.

Then, I realized something. It was when I read an article about how tough being an idol is. With her skills and talents, it is not surprised that she is very famous in her country. They said that when a singer decided to be an idol, they had to train very toughly which could result in blood and tears. To be an idol means they belong to the fan. It also says that an idol is prohibited to have a love interest. When I read to that part, I was like “Wait, what? Are you serious?” The idols contribute their talents and bring joy to others, why are they not allowed to fall in love with someone? But then, I realized that it was just another part of life, and… they could be right.

I honestly cannot say that I disagree with them. It is weird, right? I only know her from her music videos and fictional characters, what am I not letting her have a love interest? Hell, I even wish that one day, she will find someone that she will live a happy life.

And then, what comes will come. Recently, I learned that she will get marriage soon. It is good news, is it not? After 20 years of contributing her talents to this world, she deserves it. And I am not the only one who congratulates her. Many of her fans do the same as me. They even draw pictures for her. But, I still feel something strange.

When I read the news, I felt down. Something bitter and unexplainable appeared inside me. When I looked at the pictures that fans drew for her, I felt… so jealous, because, I could not draw. But it is not the only thing I feel. Part of me is happy to know she is going to get married, but part of me feels extremely jealous of that lucky guy. And I have never hated myself, and my life as this before.

If only, I was born Japanese. If only I knew her, became a special person of her, or maybe if I had some talents. I know you will say that “You’re being delusional” or ask “What’s wrong with this guy?” but feel free to say so, because… I cannot deny it.

But what can it do? Nothing will change, after all. Even though those words will not reach her, I still hope that she will have a happy life until the end. I want to say thank to her, express my gratitude towards her.


End file.
